I always knew I wanted to be a mom, never even questioned it. And while I always had career aspirations, in the back of my mind I pictured life at home with kids.
The past nearly four years (wow! Four years already?) I have been fortunate enough to stay home with Jack & Eleanor. There have definitely been days that I think “am I really cut out for this?”, but I know this is the right option for MY family.
So now that I am almost two years into life with two I thought I would give a little update on stay at home mom life with two kiddos. My friend Shannon is also sharing an update which you can find here! Her sweet kiddos Lilly and Teddy are right around the same ages as Jack and Eleanor and it is so wonderful having another SAHM to confide in and go to for advice and encouragement. We hope we can provide that for you as well!
I wish I had a straight forward answer for what it’s like staying at home with two little ones. Everyday is both the same and different. The same rough schedule of meals, naps, housework, etc. But different moods, games, activities and energy levels.
I looked back and read my first post on “Life With Two” and so much of it still rings true so I thought I would share an update on what helps me get through each day and what makes life a little easier for us all. But keep in mind that every family, child and mom is different. What works for me may not work for you so take some time to figure out what is important to you and prioritize that!
Have A Routine
I am someone who really thrives on routine and predictability so it helps me a lot, but I think it’s also really important for the kids. Having a routine for meals, nap and bedtime, screen time, etc. really helps avoid melt downs throughout the day.
Sticking to a routine and schedule doesn’t mean every minute needs to be accounted for. Just keep important things like meals, nap-time/quiet time fairly consistent from day to day. When the kids get into that routine they start to figure out when things are expected throughout the day. Which means when you say something like “ok, time to shut our show off” it comes as less of a surprise and hopefully a meltdown can be avoided.
Individual Time
Having one on one time with each kid is very important to me but it is getting trickier the older they get. In the first year I was able to have individual time with each kid while the other one would nap. But now they have the same nap/quiet time schedule which makes it harder to balance. Now that Jack is in school I dedicate that time at home to focusing on Eleanor and then on those same days during Eleanor’s nap, Jack and I do something special during his quiet time. Usually baking or an art project.
It’s ok if this doesn’t happen regularly. It can be really hard to find time for each individual kid. There are weeks where I just don’t have the time or energy to squeeze it in and thats ok. But the effort and occasional one on one time is absolutely worth it. It will be refreshing for both you and your little ones.
Time for Myself
Making time for yourself is so important especially as a stay at home mom because all day long you are focused on someone else and often experiencing sensory overload.
I’ll be honest, right now I’m really struggling with this. The older the kids get the harder it is for me to find time for myself. Between fewer naps and later bedtimes I’m running out of opportunities to be alone for a bit. I’m trying to make it a priority to find at least 30 minutes for myself each day so hopefully I can share an update soon on what works for me.
So in the mean time, take advantage of the moments you have alone. It will help you recharge and be a better mom. Find what works for you, maybe it’s waking up early, devoting nap-time to something for yourself or having your partner keep them for a couple hours once a week. You need that time to for you. And if you are struggling to make time for yourself, try to implement something special for YOU throughout your daily routine. Even small things that bring joy can make a big difference to our day. Maybe its playing your favorite music while you make dinner, lighting your favorite candle in the afternoon, placing flowers out at breakfast or adding citrus or mint to your morning water. Doing something small for yourself can greatly change your attitude and outlook.
Find Support
I teamed up with Shannon on my first Life With Two post almost exactly two years ago and I’m working with her again because she has been such a great friend and support system on my motherhood journey. She is in a similar situation with kids the same age and we can easily relate to what the other is going through. Having friends you can rely on, vent to and go to for support is so important whether or not you are a mom.
I’ve also recently connected with moms who have kids a bit older than mine which has been super helpful because they’ve been through it all before. One of them recently texted me that it was sign-up was open for kids spring soccer and she would help me sign Jack up if I wanted because she found it confusing when her first went through it. How thoughtful is that?? This is someone I met only a couple months ago and she has been such a huge help and source or support. There are women in my life that I am able to turn to for anything whether it’s searching for advice, celebrating a win or sharing in grief. Find a support system to help you through motherhood because it really does take a village. It may take time, but find your people. And don’t forget to be that person for others as well! Reach out to your mom friends to check in on them from time to time.
With all of that said, the most important thing I want to share is that by no means do I have it all figured out. There are days that we have too much screen time, the house is often messy, I’m usually swimming in laundry and feeling like I’m struggling. But what I constantly have to remind myself is that I’m doing a great job. Moments of chaos don’t mean I’m failing. And the same can be said for you! You aren’t failing. Even when you feel like you are struggling, know that you are doing a great job.
Living Taylored 